Top 10 Things I Observed During Jury Duty Selection.
1. The video they make you watch in order to persuade you to love jury duty doesn’t work. If you have to convince people to like something they’re being forced to do, it’s not going to work. I work in advertising so I should know.
2. I like saying the word ‘duty’.
3. This is people watching at its best.
4. Some people believe that if you’re talking on a phone but facing a wall that other people can’t hear you. Wrong. We hear everything and think you’re a loser.
5. I need to learn how to needle point for days like these. Grandma! Where are you when I need you?
6. Warning: After a while you’ll start getting jury duty goggles. Men who I would normally not give a second look are starting to look appealing. This is what it must feel like for people stranded on a deserted island. And for that chick who is engaged to Charles Manson.
7. The entire building ran out of coffee at 10AM. How is that even possible? Someone else commits a crime and now we’re the ones getting persecuted?!
8. While they claim Wi-Fi exists here, no one can get on it except for one person. I’m starting to think they misunderstood the definition of Wi-Fi.
9. It’s quite possible I will get food poisoning from the lunch I ate. Wish me luck (although if I start vomiting, I bet I’ll be excused for the day.)
10. Pray you’re not assigned to sit next to man who hasn’t brushed his teeth in a decade (rough estimate based on what I’m smelling). It’s your civic duty to brush people.
In conclusion, I’ve decided that Jury Duty selection is actually a psychological experiment by the government to see how we all react while locked up in a building with strangers, no coffee and bad food. I’m onto you Obama. I am on to you!!!!
And if you haven’t checked out Etsy Stalkers’ 2014 Gift Guide you should. Because it’s awesome (the opposite of Jury Duty).