Boo! Halloween is almost here. Check out the MOST UN-SEXY ADULT COSTUMES that will arrive in time.

halloween, Shrek Gingerbread Man Costume, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com
Shrek Gingerbread MAN Costume

 

In a little over a week, kids will be running amock throughout neighborhoods collecting candy (and sugar highs) while their parents chase after them with beers in their hands. At least that’s how it happens in my neighborhood. Some houses even hand out shots for the over 21-crowd making it the best night of the year (especially because it lands on a Friday this time)!

 

 

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween,  SNL Garth Algar Wig
Saturday Night Live Garth Algar Wig

 

And then of course there’s the raiding the kids’ haul after they go to bed situation. I’m doing it for the kids, people. It’s a  sacrifice but I’m up for it.

 

 

 

Etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween, Rasta Imposta Giraffe Costume
Giraffe Costume

 

I’ve noticed a lot of talk on Facebook (my main news source) about how the sexy Halloween costumes are now making their way into the Tween markets. Obviously this is totally inappropriate, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s because they see how their parents are dressing. I vote that no adults should dress sexy for Halloween anymore! Down with skin! Up with no appeal!

 

 

So with out further ado, I bring to you the most UN-SEXY COSTUMES THAT WILL ARRIVE BY HALLOWEEN:

Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head, halloween, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com
Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head | AWKWARD
FunWorld Big Top Clown Costume, esty blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween
FunWorld Big Top Clown Costume
etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween, Pink Rabbit costume
Pink Rabbit Ridiculousness
etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween,  Inflatable Ballerina Costume
Inflatable Ballerina Costume | Warning: Some may find this sexy
etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, halloween,  Mullet on The Go
Mullet on The Go

Standing in line at Starbucks with a list of drinks and paying for each one separately? No, no, no.

This seriously happened to me this morning. What’s wrong with people?

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, coffee mug, Handwritten Ceramic Coffee Mug, Happiness in a Cup, Sharpie Mug,
Handwritten Ceramic Coffee Mug | $14.00

I could not stop rolling my eyes at the woman doing the ordering. If I rolled them any harder, they would’ve popped out of my head. Oh and get this. After she handed the Starbucks dude the piece of paper, she verbally added on some more drink orders. Rude.

Anyhoo, I love coffee, especially on rainy mornings like the one we’re having today. It makes me want to curl up with a tank of coffee and a good book. So in honor of the annoying woman ahead of me at Starbucks, I bring to you some amazing coffee items:

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, love coffee, starbucks

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, love coffee, kitchen print, but first coffee, handsome craft
Awesome print | $16.50

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, Kuissential SlickFroth 2.0 - Electric Milk Frother, Cappuccino Maker

I’m sick. I’ve self diagnosed myself with Ebola.

I’ve been stuck in bed for three days straight. People at work have taken to calling me Pukey Julie. In related news, I’m thinking of trying on the bikini I’ve had hidden in the back of my closet ever since having child #2. Since the only thing I’ve had the energy to do is surf the world wide web, I’ve decided to share with you my most recent finds. Please note: I may currently be hallucinating due to the Ebola so I’m not sure if this post actually exists.

Watercolor Art, Feather Print, Colorful Nature Decor, Archival Print, Snoogs and Wilde, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com
Watercolor Art

coach baby
personalized mug, super cali print, personalized cup, secret santa gift, custom mug, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog
Personalized Mug

Trademark Fine Art Urban Watercolor World Map, amazon.com, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, world map, Michael Tompsett, Canvas Wall Art
Urban Watercolor World Map
etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, kate spade watch, "Gramercy" Rose Gold-Tone Watch
Kate Spade “Gramercy” Rose Gold-Tone Watch

Throw Back Thursday: I saw a teenager waiting for the school bus today and it scared me.

Yep, it’s already Thursday. The eve of Friday. One of the most awesome times of the week. This week I’m bringing you waaaayyy back to 2012. I find this post pretty ironic as I just finished back-to-school shopping with my kids. This year my daughter discovered that store Justice, which means she’s five going on 15 years old. Just walking into that store gave me a headache (similar to the headache I get when walking into Bath & Body Works). But at least her clothes match, which is probably what the mom of the teenage son featured in the post below said. Oy vey.
coach outlet phoenix az
friday eve, etsy, throw back thursday

I saw a teenager waiting for the school bus today and it scared me.

No really, I didn’t want to make eye contact with him because I was a tad freaked out by his appearance. Darren even asked me if the guy was a statue (no joke). Ummm no, apparently that’s going to be you in 10 years. Is this what I have to look forward to with my kids? Don’t they just stay cute, dress in clothes that I’ve approved and go to over-priced kid hair salons? After seeing this kid, I’m assuming not.

Since I now realize that the control I have over my kids is limited, I’m going to force them to wear cute cloths from Gymboree, Tea Collection and Sewn Natural until they fight back. And then I’ll just ground them.

 

 

 

And then I’ll really, really ground them if I find out they’re sneaking out from the first grounding. Ugh, even I can’t take my parenting skills seriously.

 

 

 

Two weeks as a stay-at-home-mom = a one-way ticket to the Looney bin.

First I have to say ‘hats off’ to all of you stay at home moms out there. I literally don’t know how you do it. Why am I bringing this up? Because I had this grandiose idea that taking the last two weeks of summer off would be an amazing way to usher in the school year with the ki ds. In my mind: The kids would swim away the days and fall into bed at night happy and exhausted. In reality: It’s the end of the summer. The kids are sick of the pool. And they hate sleeping.   Birthday Printable Party, Frog Prince Paperie, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com ds. In my mind: The kids would swim away the days and fall into bed at night happy and exhausted. In reality: It’s the end of the summer. The kids are sick of the pool. And they hate sleeping.   Birthday Printable Party, Frog Prince Paperie, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com In my mind: We’d set up a fun and profitable lemonade stand where we would learn the meaning of earning a dollar. In reality: I set up the stand and then I had to persuade the kids to sell the lemonade. At one point I resorted to showing some leg to get people to stop. Probably not the best lesson to teach my kids.
nike free 70

Harry Potter Paperback Box Set, etsy blog, amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, summer reading
Harry Potter Paperback Box Set

In my mind: We’d finish summer reading off strong by reading the first Harry Potter book together. First I would read a page and then my son, etc. In reality: My son hid the book after the second day and now we can’t find it.     In my mind: The two weeks would fly by. In reality: I’m thinking of dropping my kids off at school 5 days early. So as the summer winds down, I realize that all of you moms that stay at home with your kids all summer are not only special but deserve to throw a kegger when you put your kids on the bus in the upcoming weeks. Please, please, please invite me.

I peed in my pants. Not really. Well, sort of.

My son played baseball this spring and it was serious. Between practices and games, we were at the fields about three times a week. At first I was annoyed about the schedule, 6:15 weeknight games, eating dinner on the go, chasing my daughter around, etc. But then it happened, I became (drum roll please) a baseball mom.

The excitement can really get to you. One minute you’re at work acting all responsible and business-like,  the next minute you’re sitting in the stands yelling, cheering, sweating and high-fiving with moms that were strangers only a few weeks prior. The best part? My son’s team was good. Like really good. And we made it to the championship game. And oh what a game it was.

There was laughing, cheering, crying, and well possibly some peeing (I can only imagine what the kids were doing in the dugout.) In the end, we lost the championship game, but it was such a great experience that taught my son (and me) that fun can come when you’re least expecting it. Now that baseball season is over and the last day of school is in sight, it’s finally time to concentrate on how totally unprepared I am for SUMMER. In my newly found free time, I stumbled upon all of these awesome items. Enjoy…

Fun Monogrammed Totes, Lightweight Tote , Beach Bag, Pool Bag, etsy,
Monogrammed Tote | $20
Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, Coleman Road Trip Beach Shade
Coleman Road Trip Beach Shade | $41.79

Beach towel, Mural Max Etsy, etsystalkers.com, summer 2014
Personalized Beach Towel | $48
Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, Stearns Kids Puddle Jumper Basic Life Jacket, etsy
Life Jacket | $14.99

Pinterest has been making me feel not so great about myself lately.

Etsy blog, let's quit pinterest, Etsy stalkers

It’s really a love, hate relationship. I see stuff I love. I pin it with the hopes of making it. I never have time to finish (or start) the project. I feel like crap. The end.

I’m not alone in this right? That’s why I’ve decided…

  Etsy blog, let's quit pinterest, Etsy stalkers

 

Of course I don’t actually have time to go to mall so I’ll just share some of my most favorite online Holiday finds . You’re welcome.

 

Etsy Stalkers Holiday Gift Guide.

You know it’s bad when the plumber remembers your house from the time he cleared out a box of wipes from your toilet.

Yeah, the wipes incident happened a few years ago.  And yes, he was at our house this morning armed with his tools and memories of the bathroom. I remember him saying something like, “I have never seen so many wipes in a toilet before.” So at least we hold that world record.

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com,  4th of July Flag Tunic & Capri Set, Jess Kidz, July 4th
4th of July Flag Tunic & Capri Set

In totally unrelated news, tomorrow is the 4th of July! And to celebrate, I’m showcasing some of my favorite patriotic items.

Erica Ashely Design, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, fourth of july crafts for kids; fourth of july food ideas; july 4th; july 4th nails; july 4th food; july 4th desserts; july 4th decor
Cute party invites from Erica Ashley Design
String 'n' things, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, patriotic wreath, july 4th decor, fourth of july crafts for kids
Patriotic Wreath by String ‘N’ Things

You know what would be awesome? If I make my family dress in matching patriotic clothes, hold matching wreathes, while eating matching cookies. We  would become the coolest family in the world. Or the exact opposite. Have a great July 4th celebration, be safe and don’t stuff wipes in your toilet!

The talented cookie, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, fourth of july food ideas, july 4th, july 4th food,  july 4th desserts
Yummy treats from The Talented Cookie

I saw a teenager waiting for the school bus today and it scared me.

No really, I didn’t want to make eye contact with him because I was a tad freaked out by his appearance. Darren even asked me if the guy was a statue (no joke). Ummm no, apparently that’s going to be you in 10 years. Is this what I have to look forward to with my kids? Don’t they just stay cute, dress in clothes that I’ve approved and go to over-priced kid hair salons? After seeing this kid, I’m assuming not.

Since I now realize that the control I have over my kids is limited, I’m going to force them to wear cute cloths from GymboreeTea Collection and Sewn Natural until they fight back. And then I’ll just ground them.

 

 

 

And then I’ll really, really ground them if I find out they’re sneaking out from the first grounding. Ugh, even I can’t take my parenting skills seriously.

 

 

 

My name is Etsy Stalkers and I’m addicted to United States of Tara.

united states of tara, jewelry

There, I said it. I love United States of Tara. Everyday I thank the higher powers (otherwise known as the executives at Showtime) for writing and creating such an awesome cast of characters.

Felt Necklace, Lampwork Glass Bead, United States of Tara, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com

Showtime and I are pretty much a perfect pair. Just like peanut butter & jelly, gin & tonics and Snakes on a Plane (wait, what?) that movie sucked. What’s my point? No point really. Except that I just found my perfect pair when I stumbled upon Deborah Dumka.

Felt Bangle, elt Necklace, Lampwork Glass Bead, United States of Tara, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com

I mean hellooo? I want these bracelets. I need them. I literally can not live with out them. OK so maybe I can, but I’ll just pretend like I can’t in the hopes that someone will buy it for me. I don’t want to sound presumptuous or anything, but I might just be the next Oscar winner. Or not. Whatever. While I’m sending demands out into the world of what I need, here’s a few more things:

groopdealz; etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, cactus holder
Adorable home decorations
Hatch Jewelry, exceptional and unique jewelry, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com
Awesome Jewelry
ModCloth, ModCloth Private Label, etsy blog, free shipping, etsy.com, valentines day
A new pair of these cute shoes