I spent two hours at the Vital Records office and it made me want to stop my own vitals.

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My task: Going down to the Vital Records office to pick up an official copy of my daughter’s birth certificate for school registration next year.

Their task: Taking the already filled out

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form and $25 cash from my hand and pressing print.

Time expectancy: Ohhh I thought about three-five minutes.

Time reality: Two hours (not counting the time I spent showering after I got home to wash away the disgusting cooties that jumped on me while waiting. And waiting. And waiting.)

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Two days later I’m still trying to understand what was going on in that office. I witnessed a lot of wandering. And disappearing. And eye rolling (mostly from me). And blank stares. The whole situation actually reminded me of trying to get my son out the door to school in the mornings. But he’s six. And not getting paid. And did I mention that he’s six? It’s sort of his job to wander and give me blank stares.

The only reason I finally received the certificate is because I went up and asked when it would be ready. They then proceeded to tell me that ‘ohhhh, it’s ready and I must have been in the bathroom when my name was called.’ Ummmm no. I never had to go to the bathroom because I was stuck in a hot room with nothing to eat or drink for two hours.

Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out.

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Now that I have that off my chest, I’m ready to discuss that today is Friday. And I love Fridays. I also happen to love that Spring may actually be arriving soon. And I shall celebrate with a terrarium kit from Bird and Feather. I bet this shop owner wouldn’t make me wait two hours without food or drink while placing my order.

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