During the summer I sometimes (always) put on my seat warmers and then blast my car air conditioning.

What? It feels good on my back. I feel like it’s and economical way to comfort my delicate back since I practically live in my car. My husband thinks I’m clinically insane for doing this…which is probably true but whatevs.

Three Little Chickadee, Car organizer, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, Chevron Zig Zag, Personalized Trunk
Car Organizer With Cooler | Three Little Chickadee

You know what else I need to keep me nice and cool in my hot, hot seat? Delicous drinks that are kept cold in one of these awesome car organizer and cooler set from Three Little Chickadee.





I mean really, what will they think of next? Coolers with wheels? Oh.

Etsy blog, amazon.com, Trunk Organizer and Cooler Set, etsystalkers.com
Trunk Organizer and Cooler Set | Picnic at Ascot

P.S. I’ve had a broken toe for three weeks and have done nothing to fix it except wear flip flops because real shoes are too painful. Is this a bad idea? Remember that I’m clinically insane…

My Arden’s Garden Two-Day(ish) Juice Cleanse Experience

So my friend convinces me that it will be an amazing idea to do one of those two-day juice cleanses. I’ve never been of a fan of them but figured that after raiding my kid’s Halloween bags for the last five nights, I could use some health in my life.

The cleanse involves drinking one gallon of water and one gallon of Arden’s Garden premade juice PER DAY. That’s a lot of liquid. The following is my experience.

Day One:

9:07AM My friend texts me to say he decided to start the cleanse tomorrow. I decide I hate him.

10AM  Hour two of the cleanse. I’m alive. The juice isn’t bad—a grapefruit citrusy situation.

10:22AM Hunger is starting to set in. Probably should have skipped Crossfit this morning.

10:55AM Feeling a little sad as people are starting to discuss lunch around my desk. I like lunch. Can I talk about lunch with you?

11:09AM While in the restroom, I do a sideways in the mirror look to see if I lost weight yet. I’m estimating I’ve lost 10 pounds this morning.

11:40AM I go to get more juice. I’m pretty certain someone in my office is refilling the two-gallon jug while I’m not looking. I’m onto you.  How could it possibly still be so full?

1:12PM I go to Target for lunch. Big mistake. Halloween candy is 50% off.  Cruel and unusual punishment.

1:50PM Is that bologna I smell? I think I’m hallucinating.

5:00PM Did you think I’d given up? No. I’ve just been ignoring the world. Because I hate the world.

6:10PM Oh look at that, I’m in the bathroom again.

6:15PM Is it possible that my skin is clearing up before my eyes? I literally think that’s happening. I found the fountain of youth! Again this could be a hallucination like the bologna.

7:00PM Hi bathroom.

7:54PM Having a stare down with the juice.  I’m afraid no one is winning.

8:57PM My husband arrives home after working late and finds me standing by the refrigerator gulping the juice down straight from the carton. He just shakes his heads and walks away.

9:23PM My husband is snacking on the couch next to me. I start googling divorce lawyers.

9:45PM I finish the gallon of water and don’t quite get through all of the juice. I’ve reached the end of my rope so I give up and go to sleep. Let me rephrase that, I go to the bathroom, then to sleep, then to the bathroom, then sleep….you get the idea.

Day Two:

6:05AM I’m awake and I’m hangry (hungry + angry). This is not a good start to my day. While packing my kids’ lunches I catch a glimpse of the fresh new gallon of juice that is waiting for me today. I slam the refrigerator shut and start making kissing noises and gestures towards my daughter’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich. How you doin’?

6:07AM My kids think I’m crazy. I actually believe that I am.

8:30AM I arrive at work. Barely. I see a banana on a co-worker’s desk. Helllooo there Mr. Banana, you look so fine you blow my mind.

9:03AM I receive an email reminding everyone that today is the office chili and baked goods cook-off. I slump down in my desk and give up my will to live.

10:21AM I’m in the bathroom because where else would I be. They really should have desks and outlets in there.

10:47AM Is it me or is everything on the world wide web about food? I receive an email for a recipe exchange. Don’t you people know I’m cleansing???!!!

11:23AM My coworkers don’t believe me when I say I remember when gas was just .99 cents a gallon. Man I’m old. And old people need to go to the bathroom. Again.

11:47AM Lunch talk is in full swing. I fear death is near.

12:00PM I smell food. Sweet, sweet food. I hear the angels singing.

12:02 I’m knee deep in vegetarian chili, baked brownies and a cold Coke. Someone tries to talk to me and I shove my hand in his face to move it along. This girl is done with her cleanse. Amen.

In summary, liquid cleanses are not for me. Like at all. I understand (not really) that some people swear by them but I just don’t see the health benefits in making myself miserable. The body isn’t supposed to survive on liquids alone. It needs chili and baked goods!crazy sexy diet, kris carr, 21 day cleanse, etsystalkers.com

Now I did do a 21-day clean eating cleanse back in the spring based on the  Crazy Sexy Diet Cleanse and it was amazing. You can read all about my experience right here.

Standing in line at Starbucks with a list of drinks and paying for each one separately? No, no, no.

This seriously happened to me this morning. What’s wrong with people?

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, coffee mug, Handwritten Ceramic Coffee Mug, Happiness in a Cup, Sharpie Mug,
Handwritten Ceramic Coffee Mug | $14.00

I could not stop rolling my eyes at the woman doing the ordering. If I rolled them any harder, they would’ve popped out of my head. Oh and get this. After she handed the Starbucks dude the piece of paper, she verbally added on some more drink orders. Rude.

Anyhoo, I love coffee, especially on rainy mornings like the one we’re having today. It makes me want to curl up with a tank of coffee and a good book. So in honor of the annoying woman ahead of me at Starbucks, I bring to you some amazing coffee items:

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, love coffee, starbucks

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, love coffee, kitchen print, but first coffee, handsome craft
Awesome print | $16.50

etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, Kuissential SlickFroth 2.0 - Electric Milk Frother, Cappuccino Maker

Throw Back Thursday: So This Is Awkward

Yep, it’s already Thursday (yay for short weeks). The eve of Friday. One of the most awesome times of the week. This week I’m bringing you waaaayyy back to 2011 when I was trying to figure out how to entertain my kids after school. Obviously this was before they had homework and  activities because now I feel like I’m cramming a million things in before bed time.
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friday eve, etsy, throw back thursday


Now that I’m home with my kids after school, I’m sort of at a loss with what to do with them all. day. every. day. I’ve definitely perfected the watching TV activity, the eating a picnic blanket at 5:30 activity and the stalking my neighbors with kids (not in a creepy way) activity. But is there something else I should be doing? Like playing with them?


In order to get comfy cozy while watching all of that TV, I’m thinking I must, must, must get a rag quilt from Chez Martine. Note: this could also double as a picnic blanket so I’m pretty much saving money just by purchasing it.

Like how I rationalized that in my mind? But for realz people, feel free to comment on low-key afternoon activity ideas. And don’t send a TV guide – we already know it by heart.


I’m sick. I’ve self diagnosed myself with Ebola.

I’ve been stuck in bed for three days straight. People at work have taken to calling me Pukey Julie. In related news, I’m thinking of trying on the bikini I’ve had hidden in the back of my closet ever since having child #2. Since the only thing I’ve had the energy to do is surf the world wide web, I’ve decided to share with you my most recent finds. Please note: I may currently be hallucinating due to the Ebola so I’m not sure if this post actually exists.

Watercolor Art, Feather Print, Colorful Nature Decor, Archival Print, Snoogs and Wilde, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com
Watercolor Art

coach baby
personalized mug, super cali print, personalized cup, secret santa gift, custom mug, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog
Personalized Mug

Trademark Fine Art Urban Watercolor World Map, amazon.com, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, world map, Michael Tompsett, Canvas Wall Art
Urban Watercolor World Map
etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, amazon.com, kate spade watch, "Gramercy" Rose Gold-Tone Watch
Kate Spade “Gramercy” Rose Gold-Tone Watch

I’m in one state and my kids are in another one. Brag.

I’m not making a metaphorical ‘state of mind’ reference. My kids are actually in a different state than me!  It’s the second annual Camp Grandma and Pappa going on right now, which means my husband and I are in Georgia while the kids are with them in South Carolina. It’s only the second day of our stay-cation but I’ve learned and accomplished so much already:

    • It only takes 10 minutes to clean out a refrigerator and freezer when no kids are there pulling food out and claiming they’re ‘saving their half-eaten popsicle from last month for later’.
Zoku Slow Pops, popsicle molds, summer 2014, summer activities with kids, etsy blog
Zoku Slow Pops
    • I don’t have to yell at my husband to sit down at the dinner table because he actually sits and eats without asking what’s for dessert. He’s good like that.
    •  When my boss asks if I can stay past 3PM for a meeting, I don’t have to call in 50 favors trying to figure out who can watch my kids.
    • We get to enjoy wine with dinner as opposed to whine. I’ll have seconds of that, thankyouverymuch.

etsy blog, amazon.com, Acrylic Wine Tumblers, plastic wine cup

  • There’s enough time in the day to bring my car into the dealer so they can take off the driver-side panel to remove the wad of gum my kids somehow managed to stuff in there. The guy who inspected my car said he’s never seen anything like it. Awesome.
  • I had the opportunity to walk into a clothing store for no reason at all. I just walked around. By myself. And I never even peeked into the children’s department.
  • I have even MORE time do some Etsy stalking for items like these:
24K necklace, long gold chain, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, Wild Air Co
24K Gold Edged Gray Druzy Necklace

 coach store locator

Rope Bracelet, oliki, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog, Rhodochrosite Bracelet, Pink Bracelet, Boho Bracelet, Personalized Bracelet, Beaded Bracelet, Bridesmaid Bracelet
Rope Bracelet
Geometric Decorative Pillow, Modern Kids Pillows, Orange Teen Pillow, Nursery Pillow, Throw Pillow, etsystalkers.com, etsy, lovejoycreate
Geometric Decorative Pillow

Stay tuned for new developments over the coming week. I’m thinking of going to our neighborhood pool ALONE. I’ve lived in our house for six years and have yet to experience alone time at the pool. Cliff hanger, I know…

I accidently stole something during community service day. AWKWARD.

This morning I participated in my company’s community service day so I could feel good about myself. I mean so I could give back to the community. Ahem.

It was actually a really cool place where a woman and her family (originally from Jamaica) help teach the community about farming and growing to provide easier access to fresh (and tropical) produce. And all of this happens in a part of town where you would least expect it (let’s just say it’s the opposite of where you would ever imagine finding a farm.)

Greek watermelon sweet seeds, magic greek garden, etsy blog
Greek Watermelon Seeds

Long story short, we went, we pulled weeds, we ate blackberries off a bush, I decided I should be living off the land, and then I walked away with this woman’s gardening gloves in my purse. SERIOUSLY.

 coach wristlets



Now I could pretend to all of you that I’m going to drive down there tomorrow and return them, but to be honest it’s too damn far. And frankly I’m going to need some  gardening gloves when I start living off the land.

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, Women's Garden Gloves, living off the land, etsy blog
Women’s Gardening Gloves
amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog, Corner Cascade Wooden Planter, living off the land, urban garden
Corner Cascade Wooden Planter

Radish Gardening Gloves, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, gardens
Radish Gardening Gloves








garden tools, living off the land, etsy blog, gardening
Garden Tools


I screamed, “Don’t worry, I won’t eat you” to a truck of chickens this morning.

I’ve officially become a crazy vegetarian woman. This morning as I was driving to work I passed one of those huge trucks carrying a zillion crates stuffed with rows and rows of chickens. The whole thing made me really sad and reminded me of why I stopped eating meat in the first place. So I did what every normal girl does, I start pumping my fists in rage at the chicken truck driver while yelling at the chickens that I wouldn’t be the one to eat them.

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 gardening planters gardening system, large planters, raised garden, strawberry, plant pots, condo, garden, planter, planters
Large garden planter

All of that sadness reminds me that I need to plant more veggies in my own yard. You know, start living off the land. Getting my hands dirty. Watering a flower or two instead of lazily doing a rain dance. What? Dancing is totally easier than turning on the spicket.

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Redwood Planter Boxes

P.S. Have I ever mentioned that my grandfather was a chicken butcher? Double AWKWARD.

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog; Large Vegetable Garden,
Large Vegetable Garden, 17 – Piece Set

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog, Raised Bed Double Garden Kit, Greenland Gardener
Raised Bed Double Garden Kit
Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, etsy blog, 6 Panel Tiered Resin Raised Garden Kit,
6 Panel Tiered Resin Raised Garden Kit

We went RVing and it turns out we were the trash of the trailer park.

True story—we rented an RV for Memorial Day weekend and it was amazing. Truly unforgettable. Imagine this, two families of four sharing one RV for five days. There was laughter. There were tears. There were slushies. And of course there was vodka.

photo 2

Our first stop was at Stone Mountain’s campground and we were blown away by its beauty. The kids ran around the green space, made friends, climbed the mountain, and swam in the pool. And all of that was before 10AM.

photo 4

Here’s the thing, we couldn’t help but notice that literally every other RV site was better kept than ours. Wet towels? We’d throw them over the hood to dry. Toys? We left them out for the kids to play with the next morning. Beer bottles? Some made them in the trash, some not so much. I personally chalk it up to it being our first time doing this.

After a couple days we packed up and headed down to Tybee Island to enjoy the beach. It was equally as amazing. We walked to the beach, jumped waves, cooked out, ate an excessive amount of s’mores and met our neighbors whose son put on a creepy puppet show for us. It really doesn’t get any more Americana than looking up and seeing a baby doll head looking down at you, right? You can’t make this stuff up.



Oh and the other RVers were crazy nice. People go out of their way to help out. And listen to this, one day I left my FitBit in the shower and I figured it would be gone forever. But I went to check in at the office on the off chance someone turned it in and Voila they handed me my FitBit ! All in all, it was an unforgettable experience. If you’ve ever even thought about renting an RV, do it! And in case you’re wondering, here are my list of must haves when hitting the road:

Amazon.com, etsy blog, etsystalkers.com, Set of 10 White Indoor/Outdoor Mini Oriental Style Nylon Lantern Plug-in String Lights,
Lantern plug-in string lights to set the ambiance.

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, camping chair, Rving, Go RVing
You must have a camping chair or else you’ll end up on the ground (note: these easily tip over so you might end up on the ground anyway).
Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, camping, RVing, Go RVing, glow sticks
Glow Sticks!
RV Camping Location Sign, etsy.com, etsy blog
RV Camping Location Sign

Amazon.com, etsystalkers.com, RVing, floormat, Go RVing, Clean Machine Patio Stripe Doormat
Doormat to wipe your feet before entering the RV. Otherwise the entire RV ends up being the doormat.

Sooooooo I just walked into my house and found my cleaning lady with her top off.

This is a true story people. And this is all it how went down:

I walk into my house.

My cleaning lady is sitting on the couch folding laundry.

I can’t help but glance down at her overflowing bossom region.

I try to look away.

She stands up.

I can’t look away.

She’s wearing no shirt. There is only a VERY revealing bra covering her VERY big bossoms.

I seriously can’t look away. It’s physically impossible to speak. What do I do? Where do I look? I’m freaking out here people.

She starts apologizing and saying she was warm so she took her top off.

It’s April and 70 degrees outside. And she’s from Brazil.

I still can’t look away.

I slowly back toward the thermostat located approximately 10 steps from where she was sitting.

I have no idea what to do next so I do what normal person would do in this situation, I post it on Facebook. That post quickly receives more likes, shares and comments than anything else I’ve ever posted about in my life. And now I’d like to share with you my most favorite comments:

  • I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this movie.
  • OMG!! Was she trying on your clothes or something or just hot?
  • I’m posting this to my wall. I’m not asking permission either. This is gold.
  • Bra status?
  • Was she playing Carly Simon’s Let the River Run or watching Working Girl? This is amazeballs.
  • We’re looking to hire a new cleaning lady, can you please email me her contact information.
  • This feels more like an Instagram moment to me.
  • How were the boobs?
  • This is exactly why God created the Internet.
  • That’s amazing. Would have been better if it was the pants not the top, but only to find out if she really is Brazilian.
  • I wonder what your cleaning lady’s FB status is?
  • How does the cleaning lady have plastic enhancement and we don’t?
  • Also: what music was she playing? And also, how were her abs?
  • This could be a great Seinfeld episode.
  • Will you just invite us all over? We all have a lot of questions and this is the best stuff any of us have heard in a long time. Or ever. We will all bring alcohol and food. We just all need clarity on this situation.
  • You win Facebook today. Or lose? Either way: thank you.