After tightly gripping the steering wheel, quickly davening, breaking a sweat, and hail Mary(ing), I ask Darren “How do you think babies are made?”
Darren, “The mom swallows a small baby and it ends up in her belly.”
Me, “Yes Darren, that’s exactly how babies are made.”
Is this what I’m supposed to say? Anyone? Where is the freaking manual on this?!
I think I’m going to ask Darren to write all further questions in this journal from Oh No Rachio so I can sneak into his room while he’s at school. That way I can prepare myself for what’s to come.
If that doesn’t work I’ll fill this awesome plate with cookies and tell him not to talk (or ask questions) with his mouth full. Problem solved!
Sign this three-year-old up for Law School because she has a point. Let’s just hope she gets a full scholarship to Harvard. No pressure. Heh.
To reward Taylor for her innate ability to spot potty words within non-potty words, I gave her this awesome Nutcracker art from The Artful Bumblebee. Actually The Artful Bumblebee gave this gorgeous hand-created design to me and then I gave it to Taylor but no need to tell her that info.
Guess what? One of you will WIN one too. Yep. The winner gets to choose a print of your choice (and wouldn’t it make the bestest Valentine’s Day gift for the little in your life?)
Sooooo, here’s how to enter:
(1) Visit The Artful Bumblebee on Etsy and make her shop a favorite. Then march yourself right back here and comment on your favorite item.
The end of the school year is upon us. With it comes the long days of summer, sticky popsicle hands (and hair) and the stress of buying your kid’s teacher the perfect gift. Instead of adding to her a stockpile of scented lotion,
Annnnd I just licked the plate. AWKWARD. I would unbutton my pants too but I’m at work.
Why am I looking at bathing suits? I’m glad you asked. On Thursday I’m heading to SPRING BREAK 2012 (otherwise known as my friend’s wedding) in Key West.
What I should really be doing is purchasing an actual wedding gift. The couple is super artsy and hip (like me;) which is why I’m dying to get them this awesome piece of art from Dolan Geiman. It’s 3-D people.
If you don’t happen have a SPRING BREAK 2012 (otherwise known as my friend’s wedding) coming up, there’s plenty of other art – like this rad guitar.
And if you do happen to have Spring Break on the horizon, check out my favorite pics:
What? The only other thing on is 16 & Pregnant (and it’s totally a rerun). So Bride Trafficking Unveiled it is. Really I am ready to go to sleep and it’s only 8:30. This weekend was full of holiday parties and I’m Pooped with a capital P.
If you happen to be throwing a holiday party I highly suggest decorating with Party Lanterns. Look how pretty these can make a room. Any room. And if you’d like to invite me to your party, I’m there (as long as there’s a buffet and an open bar.) So what have we all learned tonight? Holiday parties are good. Bride trafficking? Not so much.
Oh belly. Why do you hurt me so? It’s Monday – isn’t that punishment enough? Me no feel so good today. And for all of you out there wondering, I am accepting flowers, cards and donations.
You know what makes me feel better? Shopping. More specifically, the awesomeness from Lila Frances. Seriously, these would be so cute to give at a bridal shower or Valentine’s Day. Is it art? Is it a hanger? Who cares? It’s freaking adorable.
Helllooooo, talk about a totally unique wedding gift. I guarantee you can’t find these at Crate & Barrel. OK, I’m off to shop. I mean work. I mean lay down. I mean, is it Friday yet?
And check out these other personalized wedding or Valentine’s Day gifts!
So I walk into Starbucks this morning to get my fix and can’t help but notice a guy checking me out. I think to myself, “Hey, I may be 34, have two kids, no sleep, great hubby, two stinky dogs, and one needy cat, but I’ve still got it. I’m looking good. Real good.” Sometimes it just feels good to get checked out.
And then I got into the elevator at work and saw my reflection – my freaking black eye looks hideous. I’m a monster. In conclusion, it turns out the dude wasn’t checking me out because I look good, it’s because I’m a total freak show. Awesome.
It’s a good thing I stumbled upon Jellybeans. These beautiful watercolor paintings make me smile and almost forget about my freakishly black eye.
If you still haven’t purchased a Valentine’s Day gift, I would suggest ordering one of these or forever staying single. Just sayin’. OK, off to start my day (I’ve been in windup mode since 7am. I start winding down around 4pm. It’s a rough life.) Still looking for Valentine’s Day gift ideas? Checktheseout. And these. And of course these.
What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of this national holiday? At work they call Thursday, Julie Friday, because I’m not in the office on Fridays. I’m sort of a legend in my own mind.
And in honor of my own personal holiday, I think I’ll buy myself some flowers from My Bohemian Summer. I’m also think of taking a Paper making class on Craftsy so I can learn to make these all by myself! These are perfect because they won’t die when I forget to water them or because my cat decides to gnaw on the leaves for a snack. Yes Chloe, I’m talking about you!
And hellllooo, Valentines Day is around the corner. These would be a great gift for the little girl in your life. Think about it this way, it will keep you from having to explain death to your children after their beautiful flowers wither and die. Just saying. And check out these super clever origami fortune poppers. What a great favor idea for a huge celebration, like Julie Friday for example.